Making Small Talk

Making Small Talk

The ability to make 'small talk' is highly valued. In fact, many English students are more interested in making effective small talk than knowing correct grammar structures - and rightly so! Small talk gets friendships started and 'breaks the ice' before important business meetings and other events.

What is small talk?

Small talk is pleasant conversation about common interests.

How to Improve Small Talk Skills

Now that we understand the problem, the next step is to improve the situation. Here are some tips to improve small talk skills. Of course, making effective small talk means lots of practice, but keeping these tips in mind should improve overall conversational skills.

Do some research

Spend time on the Internet, reading magazines, or watching TV specials about the type of people you are going to meet. For example: If you are taking a class with students from other countries, take time after the first few days of class to do some research. They will appreciate your interest and your conversations will be much more interesting.

Stay away from religion/strong political beliefs

While you may believe in something very strongly, beginning conversations and making small talk about your own personal convictions may abruptly end the conversation. Keep it light, don't try to convince the other person that you have the 'correct' information about a higher being, political system or other belief system.

Use the Internet to gain specific vocabulary

This is related to doing research about other people. If you have a business meeting, or are meeting people who share a common interest (a basketball team, a tour group interested in art, etc.), take advantage of the Internet to learn specific vocabulary. Almost all businesses and interest groups have glossaries on the Internet explaining the most important jargon related to their business or activity.

Formal Greetings: Arriving

Good morning / afternoon / evening.

Hello (name), how are you?

Good day Sir / Madam (very formal)

Informal Greetings: Arriving

Hi / Hello

How are you? 

What's up? (very informal)

How are you doing? (very informal)

It's important to note that the question "How are you?" or "What's up?" doesn't necessary need a response. If you do respond, these phrases are generally expected:

Very well, thank you. And you? (formal)

Fine / Great (informal)

Formal Greetings: Departing

Good morning / afternoon / evening.

It was a pleasure seeing you.

Goodbye.

Note: After 8 p.m. - Good night.

Informal Greetings: Departing

Goodbye / Bye.

See you (later).

Later (very informal

Ask yourself about your culture

Take time to make a list of common interests that are discussed when making small talk in your own culture. You can do this in your own language, but check to make sure that you have the English vocabulary to make small talk about those subjects.

Find common interests

Once you have a subject that interests both of you, keep to it! You can do this in a number of ways: talking about travel, talking about the school or friend you have in common, talking about the differences between your culture and the new culture (just be careful to make comparisons and not judgments, i.e., The food in our country is better than the food here in England").

Listen

This is very important. Don't get so worried about being able to communicate that you don't listen. Listening carefully will help you understand and encourage those speaking to you. You might be nervous, but letting others state their opinions will improve the quality of the discussion - and give you time to think of an answer!

Here is a list of common small talk subjects. If you have difficulties speaking about any of these topics, try to improve your vocabulary by using the resources available to you (Internet, magazines, teachers at school, etc.)

∙ Sports - current matches or games, favorite teams, etc.

∙ Hobbies

∙ Weather - boring, but can get the ball rolling!

∙ Family - general questions, not questions about private matters

∙ Media - films, books, magazines, etc.

∙ Holidays - where, when, etc. but NOT how much!

∙ Home town - where do you come from, how is it different/similar to this town

∙ Job - once again, general questions not too specific

∙ Latest fashion and trends

∙ Celebrities - any gossip you may have!

Hot Questions to start a small talk

Five Basic Facts

These five questions will help you get to know people. They are simple questions with simple answers and provide information so you can ask more questions.

What is your name?

Where do you live?

What do you do?

Are you married?

Where are you from?

More questions for ...

These questions help to continue the conversation after your first question.

"What is your name?"

It's a pleasure to meet you. Where are you from?

That's an interesting name. Is it Chinese / French / Indian, etc.?

"Where do you live?"

How long have you lived there?

Do you like that neighborhood?

Do you live in an apartment or house?

"What do you do?"

Which company do you work for?

How long have you had that job?

Do you like your job?

What's the best / worst thing about your job?

What do you like best / least about your job?

"Where are you from?"

Where is ....?

How long did you live there?

What is XYZ like?

Do you like living here?

Hobbies / Free Time

These questions will help you continue conversations and find out more about people's likes and dislikes.

What do you like doing in your free time?

Can you play tennis / golf / soccer / etc.?

What kind of films / food / vacations do you enjoy?

What do you do on weekends / Saturdays?

More questions for ...

These questions will help you ask for more detail.

"What do you like doing in your free time?"

How often do you (listen to music, eat out in restaurants, etc.)?

Where do you (listen to music, eat out in restaurants, etc.) in this town?

Why do you like (listening to music, eating out in restaurants, etc.) so much?

"Can you play tennis / golf / soccer / etc.?"

Do you enjoy playing tennis /golf /soccer /etc.?

How long have you played tennis /golf /soccer /etc.?

Who do you play tennis /golf /soccer /etc. with?

"What kind of films / food / vacations do you enjoy?"

What's the best place to see /eat / go on vacations?

What's the best type of film /food / vacation, etc. in your opinion?

How often do you watch films / eat out / go on vacation?

"What do you do on weekends / Saturdays?"

Where do you go to ...?

Could you recommend a good place to (go shopping / take my children swimming / etc.)?

How long have you done that?

Here is a list of topics that probably aren't very good for small talk. Of course, if you are meeting a close friend these topics may be excellent. Just remember that 'small talk' is generally discussion with people you don't know very well.

∙ Salary - how much do you make? - That's none of your business!

∙ Politics - wait to you get to know the person better

∙ Intimate relationships - only for you and your partner - or maybe your best friend

∙ Religion - tolerance is the key!

∙ Death - we need to face it, but not the first time we meet someone new

∙ Financial - related to salary above, most people prefer to keep financial information to themselves

∙ Sales - Don't try to sell something to someone you have just met.

This video with Ellen Quish, an ESL specialist from the Adult Learning Center at LaGuardia Community College in New York City, will help you practice ways of introducing yourself. The video highlights the most common English introduction vocabulary and phrases.

Small Talk（闲聊技巧）